Dirty Patchouli

Oh Heretic, you dirty little beast. What a fantastic addition this is to the Heretic perfume arsenal. I've not smelt patchouli in this way before; they've really cooked it good, in quite a groundbreaking way, like when color telly took over from dull black and white. I got a complete sample pack from Heretic, and Dirty Patchouli was the only one that perked my pickle (at that point, Haxan hadn't been released). Dirty Patchouli is complex, rich, deep and surprisingly cold and warm at the same time. I must say, I found the other samples in the sample pack quite ordinary and formulaic, but discovering Dirty Patchouli made the purchase of the sample kit worthwhile. Honk honk; that's what my brain does when I wear this mucky duck of a fragrance. It's like spraying liquid confidence all over my old bones, and I soak up all that lovely confidence, to make me turn into big cat when I need to. And I like to feel like big cat a lot. However, here is an unfortunate turn of events. Well, not for me, but for Heretic and their bank balance. I will not be buying a full size bottle of Dirty Patchouli any time soon. "Why not?!" I hear you yell, in a demanding way, like an angry line manager at McDonalds. Well, out of the goodness of my crooked heart, I shall tell you. Experiments in perfume creating in my loft laboratory, blindly led to me accidentally unlocking the formula of Dirty Patchouli. In essence; I have somehow managed to reverse-engineer it, so I can make it for myself in vast quantities. I really don't know how I did it, but somehow, I accidentally made something that smells almost identical. I cannot justify paying £150 for a perfume, when I can clone it myself. Perhaps one day I will crumble like a decaying tooth, and add the real Dirty Patchouli to my enormous perfume collection, but as I am in the middle of setting up my own perfume company at the time of writing (18/02/2026) I can't see myself forking out a hefty whack of penny pounds for the succulent Pretty Woman moment of buying the real thing from a real shop. Maybe one day... 8/10. It is gorgeous, but I am a mere novice perfumer and I have managed to recreate it, so the formula can't be that hard. It loses two points for that. I am an accidental genius.

I feel patchouli fragrances always require a disclaimer that says, "this is NOT the patchouli of your local baja hoodie wearing head shop employee." That disclaimer would fit here. Dirty Patchouli is a delicious honey-caramelized resinous patchouli. The patchouli brings a dry earthiness to the resin-amber-vanilla base. This starts off strong and I can smell where you could write it off as a boozy stinker, but that quickly fades and you're left with a yummy cookie with patchouli sprinkles.

I know a lot of people hate patchouli, but I love it. I would happily wear straight patchouli oil and be huffing my wrists all day. Dirty Patchouli scratches the same itch, but in a new way. It somehow makes patchouli smell edible? It rides the line between sweet and savoury, while also evoking a cozy living room in my mind. Wish I could afford a full-size bottle!

This is a very sweet-smelling patchouli. I find that it lasts the whole time I'm at work and then some. I always gets complements when I wear it.

When I first smelt this perfume I was obsessed and thought for sure I had found my next full size purchase. I have always enjoyed patchouli (with nostalgia for it in dusty incense form) but never wear it as a personal fragrance. Unfortunately on my skin as time passed this became very cloying and unpleasant, and even sprayed sparingly is not a wearable fragrance for me.