Iconic

I received a 2ml sample with my order from Maxorama, which as we all know, is the San Francisco treat. Iconic? Only if by “iconic” you mean “the smell of eighties mediocrity given a bottle." To be clear, an 80 year old in the 1980s would absolutely sway for joy to this linear Lawrence Welk rose, blanche, dorothy, and sophia scent. In respect to the 1980s and the 80 year olds, this isn’t shoulder pads, drinks on the lanai, and neon skies; this is the smell of a carpeted elevator ride to the 14th floor of a downtown Miami Beach insurance firm in 1987. $320 for ONNO Iconic is nothing short of a US presidential tragomedy. Luxury pricing only works if the juice delivers transcendence people. Here, the only thing transcending is your bank balance into overdraft while you smell like a corporate compliance seminar at an Applebees. For $320, you could buy: A bottle of Roja (my choice Enigma) from Neimans that actually feels iconic; a small mountain of Lattafa (my choice Teriaq Intense) from a mall kiosk that’ll at least keep you entertained; or, hell, $320 dollars’ worth of Febreze from the Dollar Store (my choice Downton Abbey soft), which would still be more versatile and honest.