Ralph

Ralph is the typical shower fresh, clean cotton t-shirt type fragrance that the bottle colour alludes to. I first discovered Ralph during a really hot spell when I was living in Edinburgh, I was wearing Cerruti 1881 which, whilst lovely, was very cloying in the sweltering heat, so I wandered off to Boots to look for something better suited to what felt like the Scottish tropics. I first sampled Eternity Air which was newly released and exceptionally refreshing, but because I was working with a budget, I couldn't afford it, I then tried Paul Smith Extreme Woman, which was peppery and fresh, but there were no bottles on the shelf. I was about to wander off to TK Maxx to try my luck there when this blue bottle caught my eyes, I sprayed it onto my wrist and it was exactly what I was looking for! Clean, freshly showered and wearing a clean cotton t-shirt fresh with a sporty aquatic edge, I bought a 50ml bottle and used about half of it within 3 weeks! Ralph, does have a bit of a synthetic tinge, but I cannot discredit it for that, its very affordable and smells fresh and clean, perfect for daily wear, office, gym, etc etc, its very easy and inoffensive to wear. Longevity is ok, but not the best, I can get about 4 hours from 5 spritzes, but it did mean that I could enjoy the refreshing opening when I reapplied it later in the day. Apple, freesia, some citrus and an unlisted cotton flower note are very prominent in this. Totally genderless and timeless as well, I wear it during times of olfactive fatigue as well sometimes due to its light nature. Ralph is an olfactive memory for me, its the scent of a a period and place in my life which was a big milestone for me and whilst I don't always wear Ralph now, when I do it always takes me back to Edinburgh during that time, I love it!

Man, I missed this scent. I tried Ralph for the first time in the summer of 2000, when a bunch of brand reps were giving out free sample vials at the Backstreet Boys Millenium tour stop at Starlake Ampitheater. I was 10, and I loved it so much that, towards the end of the night, I asked one of them if they had any extras. She must have given me at least 20 vials. I wore them religiously up until I finally ran out in high school. I begged my mom for a bottle for Christmas that year, and wore that up through college. Once I had my own job and income, I probably bought at least two more bottles before I decided it was time to move on to some other scents. I have always been a perfume nerd, and I wasn’t wearing it nearly as often as I used to, since it felt very much like a childhood fragrance due to how long I’d been using it. But, recently, after years of letting the last few drops in my last bottle languish on the shelf, I finally picked it up again. It had long since gone bad, so I grabbed a new bottle in the hopes that it hasn’t been reformulated. To my great surprise and joy, the new bottle smells identical to my memory of those little vials from 26 years ago. It’s still a fresh, clean, summery scent with a tangy sweetness and a generous dose of greenery. It’s an EDT, so it isn’t particularly long-lasting, but that’s perfectly fine with me since I usually like to switch my scent in the evening anyway. I feel like, as long as this baby is on the market, I’m going to have to keep a bottle on hand. I may not reach for it daily, but if I ever need to be transported back in time for a bit, it’s a trusty ally.

I was feeling extra nostalgic and found myself obsessively craving a BOTTLE of this. Not a sample or even a splash mini, I needed an entire bottle to get the full effect of spraying this all over, the way I did back in high school and my freshman year of college. In spite of inwardly knowing that I had long outgrown this scent and fragrances like it, I couldn't help myself and bid on a used bottle. (Spoiler alert: I won!) The opening is fresh and sugary, very fruity in a crisp, clean way, with an interesting (if not synthetic) undertone of "pretty flowers." Definitely freesia. Super girly. Then it gets much sportier as the fruit burns off, and for a while this is a pleasant, dated little ditty, inoffensive and perfect for casual day wear, freshly showered, jeans and t-shirt, hair in a ponytail. Only young teenagers can get away with wearing this to be fancy. It's not immature, but it's underwhelming and sexually sterile. Also, it has a bitter metallic after-bite that sticks in the back of my throat and gives me the impression of eating ink, like those hyper-pigmented purple gumballs you get out of the machine for 25 cents. The dry down is acceptable. Nondescript chemical musk. I wish I got more of the iris. I know why I enjoyed this when I was younger, and I feel like it set the stage for some of my preferences in adulthood. These days I tend to gravitate toward more natural smelling blends, with a little more depth and intrigue, a little more sex (it's true), and less freesia. So much less freesia.

Oh, Perfumites! Little Perfume Champions! Too long it has been since I last was able to spend a considerable amount of time on here; writing and reading fun and helpful reviews! ANYWAY! Let us proceed to the gorgeous olfactory wonders of "Ralph". As I've mentioned previously: I am a Trash Person (Mentioned quite a few times previously, really). I have also previously mentioned how I have neglected Ralph Lauren perfumes in the past. NO LONGER! Thanks to this perfume (recommended by the *amazing* GinCatsBooks - go read all their reviews)! This has captured my heart. This is the true fresh, floral, summer perfume I have been holding out for! That constant pretty, fresh scent is sweet. Of course, we thank the combination of osmanthus, magnolia, and - surprisingly - a restrained freesia! This floral combination just screams FRESH PRETTY SUMMER! SOAK IT UP! The apple here is gentle; never harshly zesty. Same with the mandarin. Allows for the fruit to mingle and be a sweet, juicy fruit salad rather than a mouthful burst of sour. Boronia, folks? A very pretty, small, fragrant pale-pink/purple flower. Fun fact: A flowering scrub that is most commonly found in Australia - You're welcome, Perfumites - *wink*. Mix that with a soft musk and white iris, and you have a very fresh, pretty, floral feminine scent that has surprisingly decent longevity! Jesus, and isn't it refreshing! My GOD - I can't wait for summer where I'll be spending some schweet quality time with my friend, "Ralph". *** Kitty rating: 9/10.

Ralph, like many others, is the grandchild (or great-grandchild?) of Debbie Gibson's "Electric Youth" (and to a lesser extent, fragrances like Coty's wonderful "Tribe"). Introduced in the late 80's, Electric Youth was the first true fruit-bomb scent. And unfortunately because of the slew of IFRA restrictions implemented since that time, it's difficult to see how a scent like Electric Youth with its insane bombastic performance could happen again. So we have to settle for releases like "Ralph", which is pretty terrific. And of course the wannabees like Justin Bieber's "Girlfriend", Avon's "Wink", Escada's "Rockin' Rio", etc... I'm not going to go as far as to say Ralph is the pale shadow of Electric Youth. Truly it is unfair to compare the two considering the restraints put on the fragrance industry as a whole. But it certainly lags behind. Still, it's quite acceptable. Basically what you're getting is a pleasant swim in a bowl of fruit punch (whereas with Electric Youth, you got a fruit laden Hiroshima-like explosion, followed by the sensation of getting beaten in the face by a bag of watermelon candies). It's girlish, lovingly obnoxious, youthful and fun. If the sitcom "Saved by the Bell" gave off a scent, this would be it. Highly recommended. But not for folks who are only into super-sophisticated affairs. Ralph is a portrait of a thirteen year old boy-crazy gossipy junior high school student as seen through technicolor lenses.